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Honesty and Openness From a Teachermom

8/26/2018

21 Comments

 
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Honest and Raw. That’s what this post is.

It’s the here and now.

My family never really expressed emotions growing up, so this doesn’t comes easy for me. Sometimes, people see these perfectly posted squares on Social Media, and have a skewed image of our reality. And while I keep going back and forth about whether I should in fact write this post, I know there has to be someone else experiencing this same thing.
. . .
Many of you know that I am a first grade teacher, and that I have two boys. Grayson is now in third grade, and Urban in first. I also shared that Urban has sensory processing disorder and anxiety. On a good day, he is the boy version of Junie B. Jones…witty, funny, and exhausting. Other days are filled with tears, yelling, and high stress…and even more exhaustion. And, honestly, my relationship with Urban is tough. He prefers to be with Greg and lets it be known.

Last year, my first grade class was an absolute dream. They were my escape from the stress-filled evenings and mornings at home. I always felt that if I wasn’t loved by one of my kids at home, I have 23 other kids waiting for me at school. This year has not started off the same way. While I enjoy my new kiddos, my stress level has remained high all throughout the day. We also had some new changes at the building level that have taken extra time away from us.

After the first week of school, I was looking forward to some time to rest and enjoy some family time. What started out as a fun day turned into one of tears and disappointment as Urban couldn’t hold it together. The stress that I was trying to escape just didn’t seem to go away. 
And when you’re in the thick of it,
it is lonely, exhausting, and defeating.
 (I’d even venture to say it can feel this way in the classroom when in tough situations.)

As teacher mamas, we never seem to get a break. Add a special needs or mental health need, and it can seem like there is no end in sight. Yes, I chose to be a teacher, and I chose to have children, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t feel extremely stressed.


And it doesn’t mean that I have to keep it all to myself.

I know there have to be other moms in my same situation. It’s ok to feel this way...

…
you are not alone.

You see, as a teacher and a mom, our brains never stop thinking about our kids...all 25, 30, or 82 of them. Our kids and our school kids are all of our kids. Their problems become the things that keep us up at night. Their accomplishments become our proudest moments.
. . .
These kiddos are only 6 once. They will get bigger, more mature, and, if all goes well, things will get easier. But for now, this is life. It will be OK.
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21 Comments
Irene
8/26/2018 01:48:17 pm

I’m in the same boat. My 4yr old is autistic and has sensory issues as well and we also have a rumbuctious 2 year old. It’s defintley not easy. Carrying all those worries of your personal kids and school kids is hard. Your not alone.

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Kathryn
8/26/2018 01:57:11 pm

Thank you for sharing this. At 42, as a teacher and momma of three, I share in your experience. My 13 year old boy was recently diagnosed ED. Some days are smooth sailing and others are EXHAUSTING. Managing my classroom and School experience while also helping to manage his ...it most definitely has given me pause relative to social media...do I keep using it? How do I authenticate it to reflect both the highs and lows and more accurately represent our family. You’re correct, we are not alone, but truth be told, some days it sure as heck feels like it. I’m holding tight to this post for those such days. Deep breaths and be good to yourself.

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Heather
8/26/2018 03:10:46 pm

This was so honest. Thank you. I spent numerous years struggling to find out what was causing the multiple category 5 meltdowns my child was having daily. I too struggled to build a solid relationship even though I was/am the preferred parent. So amazing to hear someone else say it. I’ve said it but I’ve never met anyone who understood.
Hang in there! After OT and around the age of 9 we saw a major improvement. Now just hoping the start of teenage hormones doesn’t set us back again!

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Kodi
8/26/2018 03:29:57 pm

I hear you! I am a kindergarten teacher and mom of 3 boys. My youngest and most difficult is in kindergarten this year, right next door. We are both struggling with the beginning of the school year. It can be so hard yet so rewarding. Thanks for sharing your story!

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Amy
8/26/2018 04:30:54 pm

Thank you for your honesty. I am a teacher and a momma and agree 100% with everything you said. In those times of stress, I do a lot of praying and communicating with God, my husband, family and friends. That’s what gets me through it. Someone (a student teacher) just asked me with all I have going on each day at school and at home, “How do you do it?” At until now, I hadn’t really known. But now I realize after reading your honest post, I can do it with support and love. Love and support for myself and from others. I pray that anyone who ever feels this way has those special people in their lives to help them. Pray you do, as well!! Praying for your new school year, your family and you!! Thank you again! With lots of hugs and love, Amy

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Candace
8/26/2018 04:59:21 pm

I teach Kindergarten and currently have 26 in my class! I’m nervous and worried because the first day of school is Monday. I’m GLC and everyone on my grade level is new.
On top of all that I’m a single mom with twin ADHD boys. Some days are great and other days I hide in my room and cry from all the stress.
Thank you for sharing your honesty and openness. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

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Angie
8/26/2018 05:01:48 pm

Yes!! People do not understand what Teacher Mamas go though. And adding a kid with special needs to the mix just amplifies it all. Thank you for being so honest. It does feel lonely and debilitating some days. Our youngest is 11 now. Has been doing therapy for over 2 years. Things are better. A few years ago, it looked pretty bleak. But those days... they still come around.

I do find myself with students each year being placed in my class because of my understanding. Knowing what we deal with our son probably makes me a better teacher. But it can be so draining sometimes too. Big hugs!!

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Amber
8/26/2018 06:19:27 pm

It’s a compliment to get those kiddos who need you so much, but I agree that it can be draining. I hope you find inspiration and energy when you need the most.

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Leslie
8/26/2018 06:35:32 pm

I often have “difficult” students placed in my class because I “get it”. It’s an honor to be their teacher and I treat every child like I would like my daughters to be treated. But it’s so exhausting. ♥️

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Erin
8/26/2018 05:17:11 pm

Very well said. ❤️

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Amber
8/26/2018 06:15:25 pm

Thank you!!!! For your honesty and realism. I’m 15 years into teaching and raising 5 girls (3 are adopted from drug/traumatic childhoods). I not only feel exhausted, but discouraged and disconnected from others. Teaching is a deep passion of mine, but it’s a struggle to keep a smile on my face for everyone, all the time. Especially since I am my own worst critic. Blessings to you and all these beautiful teacher moms that are opening up and helping me feel human again.

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Leslie
8/26/2018 06:28:03 pm

I’m a pre-k teacher and Mama to three girls. My middle daughter is a textbook “explosive child”. She struggles with mental health issues (anxiety and ocd). She often lashes out at her family members with a ruthlessness that is hard to describe. She is working very hard on finding/using and incorporating better tools. We all are. School day mornings are SO HARD on all of us. Some days I cry all the way to work. I love her and I will never stop fighting for her, but I tired. Thank you for sharing your story. It brings some peace to my Mama Teacher heart.

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Leslie
8/26/2018 06:33:05 pm

(I don’t know how to edit my comment) I intended to say...I *am* tired

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Catheryn
8/26/2018 10:47:15 pm

Girl, you could be writing about my life! My 17 year old is newly diagnosed bipolar. The past several years have been a roller coaster of highs and really low lows! My classroom is my escape. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way. You are not alone, mama!

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jaimie
8/28/2018 12:05:03 am

Catheryn, i too have a 16 year old diagnosed with bipolar 2 years ago. its SO hard. work is super stressful too because this year im a first/second grade teacher (combo class!) AND have a 3 year old son. Hang in there everyone. its tough.

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Steph
8/28/2018 10:39:14 pm

I just love and appreciate this post. I teach high school English. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD when I was in my 4 year of teaching; he was in 4th grade. Being teacaher mom, at times, has been more than challenging to say the least. I struggle with the daily pressure of having to have it all together as a mom, wife, teacher (to at least 140 students a year), mentor, coach, and so many other things like so many other teacher moms. We’re also often expected to put our family to the side with enormous amounts of grading, planning, and so many other after school obligations prior to making it home. I try so hard to keep all the plates spinning at one time but eventually they stop. Family first and self care is what I have really had to let take precedence over school over the last couple of years. So far it has made all the difference. Thank you again for this post ♥️

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Carole
9/16/2018 09:53:40 pm

Wow, beautifully written and from the heart. Thank you for sharing.

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    We are Becky and Greg from York, PA. Becky just started her 13th year of teaching first grade. Greg is a high school social studies teacher. We love teaching and this blog is a peek into our world. 

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